I knew Ivy would be our last baby, our last journey through pregnancy, we called her the grand finale. I knew that I wanted to stay home for the first year of her life and I knew that I wanted to make it past the few weeks that I did with breastfeeding the older girls.
I was committed to this journey.
I started nursing and pumping as soon as Ivy was born. However, shortly after Ivy’s birth it was discovered that I had a rare condition called Postpartum Preeclampsia. Postpartum Preeclampsia is a life threatening, rare post-childbirth condition that includes high blood pressure, extreme headache, swelling, and other symptoms. I was admitted to the hospital and separated from Ivy at just four days old. It was then, the scariest time of my life. I decided it would be best to focus on my health instead of my milk supply. So, I stopped pumping.
Once I was healthy and discharged from the hospital, I contemplated whether I would continue breastfeeding. I did some research and came across a process called re-lactation. Re-lactation is the process by which a mother reestablishes milk supply after having stopped for weeks or months (some after years).
When I discovered breastfeeding was still an option, I reembarked on this labor of love. It was not an easy process as it didn’t yield immediate results. In fact, it took a few weeks of pumping every 2-3 hours before I could produce a single drop of milk. It took patience and dedication, but it was worth it.
Re-lactation is possible.
A few weeks later, Ivy was officially diagnosed with congenital heart defect, and we found ourselves back in the hospital. Once again, I felt like a decision had to be made. Do I choose to keep pumping, or do I stop and focus solely on my daughter’s survival?
In between feeling helpless and hopeful, the staff asked if I was in need of a pump for our room. Unsure if I felt up to pumping, I told them to just bring one just in case. A subtle thought crossed my mind, wouldn’t it be great if I could give Ivy breastmilk after her surgery, as mommy medicine? And the more I thought about it, the stronger my conviction grew. It felt like the only thing I could do for her.
I committed to the process with renewed faith and vigor.
Every couple hours while at the hospital, I would head to the nursing room and pump. The lactation consultant knew me by name. The little milk that I was producing started to add up. The nurses and hospital staff cheered me on. Ivy was given mommy medicine exclusively for the first few days after her surgery. And as I continued to exclusively pump, I was able to establish a full milk supply, not having to supplement with any formula.
As I think back on this time, the emotions coming to the surface feel so raw. Perhaps it’s because I am now at the end of my breastfeeding journey. I’m proud of myself for not giving up, even though I wanted to at times. I’m thankful that I was able to provide mommy medicine during the first 9.5 months of Ivy’s life, when she needed it the most.
